Is it possible to survive infidelity? How can you trust that the person you are with is never going to cheat on you again? What caused them to cheat to begin with? We are going to focus on some steps that you can take for surviving infidelity. It may not be what you want to hear, but its steps that can keep your relationship moving along for a long time to come.
How to Catch a Cheater
Perhaps you have felt for awhile that your man/woman has been cheating on you. When you try to text or call him/her, they are always to busy for you. Sometimes their phone is shut off when they are supposed to be at home sleeping. You wonder if they are with someone or telling you the truth. How can you catch a cheater in the act? Here are a few tips:
Never let your lover know that you are onto them. This will trigger them to be more watchful of their cheating ways. The best to catch a cheater is to not let them know that you sense them with another person. Instead, be a detective and snoop to see what they are up to. The less a cheater knows that you are onto them, the more you will be able to catch them in the act.
Here are a few tips when trying to catch a cheater:
Check his/her phone when they are not looking. Be sure to not get caught. You must be quick about it because he/she will most likely have a lock on their phone and a pin # will be required to enter. Look for any text messages that are romantic in tone. This is the best way to catch a cheater in action.
Look at his computer. Is he/she visiting dating websites? Are they having relationships with a man or woman that they are trying to hide and keep secret? Finding out what he/she does on the internet will surely get you a ticket into what may be gong on in his online life. Has he/she been visiting Tinder lately?
What is in his/her garbage? A person’s garbage says a lot about them. Do they have a receipt in them from takeout food for two or even a hotel receipt?
Smell his/her clothes. Does it smell like cologne or perfume? Does it smell like he/she has been sleeping with someone else?
Get a camera that is hidden inside of the home. Yes, you can get these “nanny cams” in many different pieces of merchandise. They are often placed in alarm clocks, teddy bears, pens, pin heads that you can stick on the wall and much more. You can often download and app to see what he is up to.
Is It an Emotional Affair?
Emotional affairs happen when you least expect. They often occur when your partner feels that you are not giving them what they need. Your lover may find that its hard for them to make a connection with you.
He/she often feels that you are not fulfilling their needs on an emotional level and they may turn to someone else for that. They may fall deeply in love with an online relationship or a face to face one. It often involves no physical touch. However, you start to sense that whenever you want to hang out with them, they are to busy for you.
Your lover starts putting you off and saying, “I have something else that I need to do. I can’t spend time with you right now.” You begin scratching your head and wondering what they could be doing.
Emotional affairs often happen because you failed to provide your partner what they needed. Does it mean that you can repair this? Yes, you can repair any damage in your relationship that is caused by something that you are doing.
Here are some steps to take in order to correct the situation:
- Ask your partner if you are giving them what they need emotionally.
- Tell your lover that you will give them what they need, and you can work on the problem together.
- Let them know how much they mean to you and that you want to have a good relationship together.
- Plan a vacation together. It can be for 1 day or a week. The point is that you are going to give them your undivided attention. Leave the cell phones and gadgets all in the car. Keep away any of your distractions that would normally divide your time together. This may be the reason why there is a problem in the first place.
- Tell your partner that you want to take the relationship to a higher level. You want to spend more time with them. You must make time for your partner or else you could be heading down the road of a future breakup. You must choose between whatever is causing the problem and your partner.
The emotional affair will often stop without you having to say anything because your lover now sees that you are interested in hanging out more and giving them what they need. This is your first step in uniting your special love together.
Once a Cheater Always a Cheater
Many people often believe that once a person cheats, they will always cheat. However, this is not always the case. Many times, someone will cheat on you because they wanted one-night stand. Other times, its for emotional reasons. Once a cheater gets caught, they often know how badly it hurt you and they will often want to stay together with you.
Cheaters often feel that they want to make the relationship better. If they are still saying that they want to be together with you, then they are not looking to move on. They simply wanted something emotional or physical with another person because their lust and fantasy got to them. Cheaters that don’t want you anymore will often apologize for what they have done and say that they would rather move on from the relationship.
Once a cheater, always a cheater is not always true. You will find that you can survive infidelity when you know that the person that you are with messed up and still loves you.
Also, look at that person’s history. Do they have good track record of cheating on others? Is this the first time that they cheated on you. If they have cheated before on other people, then chances are, they will cheat on you again. They like the thrill of cheating and often want variety.
This means that no matter how good you look or how much money you make, they will still want variety. This is a problem that you can’t fix. You may have known that they were a cheater before you got involved with them and it was your hope that they would change for you. However, you see that this is not the case. When this happens, you may have to call the relationship quits.
Some people will never be faithful not matter how hard they try. They feel that they can’t stop chasing booty. They constantly want to feel entertained by having a new body next to them at night.
Here are some facts on how to know if the person that you are with will always be a cheater:
- They consistently have cheated in most of their relationships.
- They seem unhappy with only one lover in their life.
- They tend to travel a lot by themselves (This is the perfect time to cheat since they rarely get caught. You won’t know what they are doing).
- They would rather spend time with someone else than you on their days off from work.
- They don’t respect you.
I Cheated on My Boyfriend
Today, we are seeing that both men and women cheat equally. If you cheated on your boyfriend, its time to own up to what you have done. You must decide on whether you want to keep him in your life or move on. You may not be getting what you need from the relationship and you may cheat on him again. If you do want to be with him, then its time to tell him what happened and apologize for what you did.
Most men will be angry at you at first and then forgive you if they want to keep you in their life. Don’t be surprised if he always has one eye open with you and one eye closed in the relationship. You can’t blame him for not having 100% trust in you again. After all, you did cheat and he didn’t see it coming.
Over time, if he chooses to stay together with you, he will show you forgiveness and love. It’s important to reassure him that it won’t happen again and make extra steps to show him that you value him more than anyone else that was in your life.
If he is not your ideal man, don’t try to use him because you are lonely. Make sure that you are truthful with yourself and want him over other men. Many women will use their boyfriend until a better man comes along. They often do this because they are lonely. They end up wasting his years when he could have been spending them with someone else that sees him as their #1.
What to Think About When You Have Cheated on Your Boyfriend:
- Ask yourself if you still want the relationship.
- Is he really the man that you want to be with?
- Are you sorry for what you have done?
- Do you plan on telling him what happened?
- Does he give you what you need?
- Are you using him just because you are lonely?
- Was your cheating a one-time deal or do you know it will happen again?
My Boyfriend Cheated on Me
If your boyfriend cheated on you, its devastating. Women often want to know why? They often blame themselves by saying that their breasts are not big enough or they are to fat. Many things will go through your mind as to why he chose another woman over you.
However, the truth is that he didn’t cheat on you because your breasts aren’t big enough or that you are carrying some extra pounds. He really wanted variety. Even if you looked like a famous model, he still would have cheated. When a man cheats, he often does it because he simply wanted to try a different flavor and was hoping that he wouldn’t get caught.
When a man wants to leave you, he often just leaves. He will often not want to better the relationship. Most men don’t cheat for emotional reasons. He often cheats out of pure lust. I know that you think differently because women often cheat because of emotional issues that are happening in the relationship. Women often cheat because they are looking for a new man and not because they are trying to get off on a one-night stand. They often feel like they are emotionally lonely.
You need to decide on whether you want him back. If you do, you will need to be able to trust him again. You will have to decide on where you want things to go for the future. It’s important to always look at all the facts when it comes to your love life.
I Cheated on My Husband
It can be devastating to cheat on your husband. You broke your vows of marriage. Your husband is probably not happy about your cheating and is thinking about divorce. What should you do?
For starters, you need to realize that what you did was serious. Its best not to blame him for your needs not being met and that’s why you went outside of the marriage. At first, it must be all about him and being apologetic. It’s impossible that you let him know that you are deeply sorry and troubled by your actions. He is going to want to know why you did what you did. If its because it was a moment of lust for you, he must know that. You may have to tell him that the man that you cheated on him with was hotter than Brad Pitt and you had to do it.
He will be angry about it, but he needs to know that its not his fault. If you did it because your emotional needs were not being met, you need to tell him that. However, don’t make it about your feelings. Right now, you are looking for forgiveness from him. He needs to know that you were wrong in every way, shape and form. Let him know that even though your emotional needs were not being met, it was wrong for you to cheat period.
Forgiveness will often take him a few weeks, months and even years. Its important to not give up on asking for forgiveness. It’s also important to get into marriage counseling. He must see that you are making every effort to keep him in your life and to have the marriage going. He must see you as someone that is willing to fight for your love.
Do All Men Cheat?
All men do not cheat. Many men have strict religious morals that keep them accountable to the woman that they are married to. When people make this statement, its often because they are attracting the same type of man in their life every single time.
Women that constantly get cheaters in their life often know from the start that there is something about him that makes you wonder if he is going to cheat. It is more of a gut instinct.
Some women simply like the “bad boy” or the handsome guy that seems to have a liking towards all the ladies. A small portion of women find that men are always cheating on them is because of a onetime cheating situation. Also, the laws of karma are real. If you cheat, the laws of karma say that you will also be cheated on. You may have to clear your karma if you want to have a faithful man in your life. Spiritual laws don’t lie.
I Cheated on My Girlfriend
If you cheated on your girlfriend, you will have to ask yourself why. Most men cheat because they simply want a piece of booty and not because his emotional needs are not being met.
Many men in the 21st century love variety. When he sees a “hot” girl, a part of him says, “I want to sleep with her.” Its not because he doesn’t love the woman that is in his life. It’s because his lust gets to him and he just wants to get her in bed.
Its only after the cheating happens does the man say, “If my woman finds out, she is going to be upset with me and possibly leave me.” For him, it was just a one-night stand of pleasure and he wants nothing more to do with the woman. Maybe another bangs every now and then. However, nothing that would replace his relationship with the woman that he loves.
Women however will see this as being entirely different. The woman will often feel that her man is trying to push her away and wants this other woman. She tries to compare her physical appearance to hers. She wonders why he would choose to sleep with her over them. Her mind begins to race with trying to figure out if she needs liposuction or a new hairstyle. She will wonder why he went outside of the relationship.
This is because women usually cheat for emotional needs and men often do it for lustful pleasure. There is a difference how men and women view cheating.
If you cheated on your girlfriend, you must ask her for forgiveness. You must tell her the truth in why you cheated. Don’t make anything up. If its as simple as you just wanted another piece of booty for the night, she needs to know. Let her know that she is still hot. However, you allowed your lust to get the best of you and you just wanted to try a new flavor for the night. Let her know that you won’t let this happen again. This should be a lesson learned to you. Cheating hurts another person to the core. If this is your first life lesson in cheating, make it one that will last forever.
When you are committed to someone, don’t ever cheat. It is the most devastating feeling that your partner will ever experience.
Do Affairs Ever Work?
Affairs do work some of the time. They often work out if the person that you are having an affair with is seriously wanting to marry you. If they are saying that they just want to take it as it comes, then most likely this relationship will not survive.
If the person that you are having an affair with is married, it most likely will not work because they are stalling to leave their partner. They will often tell you that its because of financial or children being in the picture as to why they can’t leave their spouse or partner. However, when a person is finished with a relationship, they don’t stay in it for those reasons.
If you are cheating on your partner with someone that is not attached to anyone else, your relationship has a much better chance of surviving. This is mainly because the two of you both love one another and want to have a life together.
Over time, you will have to decide on whether you really want to have a relationship with the person that you are having an affair with. They need to know as well if its worth their time. If they can’t tell you that they will be exclusive with you after 2 months of dating, its time to let the relationship go.