Is your marriage in trouble and you feel like its over? Perhaps your husband or wife has said that they want a divorce. The two of you are Christians and yet you can’t seem to make the marriage work? If this sounds like you, then this article is going to help you to see why you are having marriage problems and how you can fix it.
For starters, there are rules from the Bible that every man and woman must follow. The New Testament is clear about how Christians are to view marriage and treat their spouse. If you are not following these instructions, then its most likely why your marriage is seeing chaos. Let us first see what the rules are.
In Ephesians 5:25, the book tells us that a man should love his wife and Jesus loves the church. This is powerful and often overlooked by men. Jesus loves his church so much that he died on the cross for his people. Your love needs to be strong for your wife. You must not give up on her. Read 1 Corinthians in the New Testament and see what love even is. One of the first sentences in this book are, “Love is patient”. It’s important to be patient with your wife is she is not seeing the light.
Mark 10:9 tells us that nobody should separate a marriage that God has put together. This is an important verse in the scriptures. If you have anyone in your surroundings that is trying to break the two of you up, its best to get rid of them. They are clearly not following the word of God and will only cause problems in the relationship. You need to also ask yourself, “Am I running back to my family and gossiping about my spouse every time that we have a problem?”
In today’s world, many men and women think that its okay to tell their marriage troubles to their families when they have a problem. The couple will often call upon their families to complain about the way that their spouse is treating them. In return, the family develops a hatred towards your spouse because they think that they are hurting you. This causes your spouse to feel uncomfortable around them when you get together for family functions. It is important to take away anyone that is trying to interfere and break up your marriage.
In 1 Corinthians 16:4, it says that we must do everything out of love. Check your actions and see if you have been loving to your spouse. In many Christian marriages, the couple is often fighting and saying unkind words. The two of you are not seeing eye to eye. You must say that if something is bothering my partner, I must not do it. The two of you must work as a unit. You must work as one. You can no longer say, “This is my house. This is my bank account. I can have the job that I want. I can go to the school that I wish. I will raise the children the way that I want to.” As you can see, many Christian couples today have the mindset that they will do things their way and not work as a team.
Since we live in an “its all about me” generation, we can safely say that many couples today were taught as children to worry about themselves and nobody else. Young girls are often taught to do whatever you feel like as long as you are not hurting anyone. Young men are often taught the same. However, in marriage, the couple were never taught to work together. Most marriages fail because the couple doesn’t work together. Instead, they want to live separate lives within the marriage. However, “a house divided against itself will not stand.”
In 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, the Bible teaches that married couples should be intimate with one another. How has your intimacy been lately? Has there been any throughout the marriage? In many cases, the man fails to fulfill his role with making love to his wife or vice versa. Many experts say that most marriages today are sexless. This means that couples will often stop having sex for different reasons.
If physical attraction is the problem, the two of you may need to start going back to the gym again and making yourself more attractive to your partner. You also need to set time aside just for love making and for telling your partner how you feel about them.
Most couples usually go to their bedroom to sleep. They often forget about having couples time. It’s important for you to go away on short couples retreats if you need to. Sometimes it’s impossible to get away from the everyday troubles of life and social media.
Women often feel unwanted or not good enough by their husbands if they are not wanted sexually. Women often need intimacy a lot more than a man does to feel wanted and loved. It’s important for the man in the marriage to discuss this with his wife. Ask her if he is giving her the intimacy that he needs. If he is not, this can be a reason why the marriage is falling apart. Many men put work before their wives or simply say, “I am to tired and need to rest instead of having intimacy.” It’s important for the man to pleas his wife and change their schedule if need be.
How Important is Prayer?
Prayer is the communication in which we speak to God. Jesus Christ was known to pray to his heavenly father for hours. He even asked Peter the apostle to stay up with him to pray because he knew that he was about to be taken into the hands of the Romans for his crucifixion (Matthew 26:40).
It is important to know that when we ask God for something in prayer, He will give it to us if its in his will to do so. We should never pray for something out of greed. Instead, let the Lord give you what he believes that you need.
Prayer gives us strength and confidence in knowing that God is hearing us and watching over us. In 2 Chronicles 7:14, it tells us that we should repent of our wicked ways so that God will forgive us. Praise God that he is willing to forgive us and take us back even when we have done wrong.
What Happens When We Pray?
When we pray, we begin to see God moving in our lives. At times, we will pray for God to do the impossible for us. When we pray for others, we begin to see that doors open in their life as well.
If you know someone that is leading a sinful and destructive life, it’s important that you pray for them and ask God to show them the door for repentance. It’s important to pray without stopping.
Sometimes, a person needs to fast and pray to get God’s attention. Many prophets and men that were called by God to lead people fasted and prayed. Fasting opens doors for you in life.
Singing songs to Jesus are also a part of prayer. Many times, I will sit back and ask Jesus to forgive my sins and then I will start singing to him. I will let the Lord know that my life is committed to him and that I am sorry for all that I have done. I let Jesus know that I have repented from my sins and ask him to forgive me.
In 1 Peter 3:1, The Holy Bible tells us that the woman should be submissive to her husband even if he is not a Christian so that you may be able to win him over to the Lord by your own actions. If he sees that you are still treating him well despite his own wicked actions, he could in return give himself to Jesus because he has seen your goodness and wants to be like you.
Ephesians 5:24 tells us that a woman should submit herself to her husband. In the United States and many other countries, the women’s liberation movement has taught women that its okay to not submit yourselves to your husband. Instead they teach to do whatever you feel like and not listen to him.
As you can see from the Holy Bible, a marriage cannot work if the wife is not submissive to her husband. In fact, the marriage is going to fall apart because your husband will feel disrespected by you. If you are a wife that screams or talks down to their husband, its no wonder your marriage is headed towards a divorce.
You need to understand that men want to have an authority over their wife. It doesn’t mean that he should mistreat you. However, out of love, it means that you are to be submissive.
In 1 Timothy 2:12 the apostle says that he never lets a woman teach a man. She is not to have authority over him. In today’s 21st century world, many women of this world would say that this is harsh to talk to a woman this way.
However, this is scripture and Christians are required to listen to the words that are written. Men often don’t like to be talked down to by a woman or to feel like she has power over him. The truth is that in the Bible, the man is the leader. If you can’t accept this, you will always have trouble in your marriage.
Marriages that are headed for divorce are often there because the man and woman in the relationship are not honoring their roles. It’s important for the two of you to start studying scripture together. The Lord will begin showing the two of you what roles you are to take on.
Men are often shocked by find out that he is supposed to support his wife financially and support her. Some men today are lazy and don’t want to work or support their family.
How To Avoid Divorce In A Christian Marriage
Marital divorce is, as a general rule, the result of the development of adverse occasions in the lives of a couple. Such monstrous actions, which sometimes could degree more than several years typically abandons being seen by one of the two partners worried until the unavoidable end comes, when one individual permanently can’t go on with it anymore. Divorce, in many cases, is avoidable malice, and here are a few tips on how to avoid divorce in christian marriage.
Open Communication and Transparency
It is regular for a couple who just recently married to want to talk about and share everything. However, with time couples may float away from each other on the off chance that they are not willing to keep the channel of communication open.
During a disagreement, each couple should gain knowledge of the ideal way to communicate with the other, and each should as well give the other a fair chance to have their opinion, at that point the two partners can progress in the direction of a shared objective.
Couples should, by configuration, take a break each day to talk about what happened during the day, their victories, and the challenges they face. Open communication is absolutely an essential key in avoiding divorce in Christian marriage.
Getting married connotes, you are going to have to be in this world with the same individual all your life. At first, the idea may energize you, yet with time, weariness and over-familiarity may take hold. This is the time inconvenience begins; one individual may start to feel trapped, and the couple gradually begins to float away from each other taking comfort each day.
To forestall this trap, couples should have regular interests. Couples ought to engage in family extends, vacations, network ventures, and so on. I know of a couple who, at the beginning of each year, review a rundown of 24 tasks and embark on getting two ventures total for every month. Each investment is meaningful and exciting to them, and they expect the following with exhilaration. They are as close as ever.
Spend Quality time together
Life has a lot of distractions – kids, work, social duty, and more distant family – there are so many. A couple ought not to let themselves get so involved with meeting ‘duties’ that they fail to make sure to spend quality time together. If you are to have a happy marriage, at that point, spending time together ought to be on top of your rundown. Distractions go back and forth. However, your marriage should last for good.
Simple Tips to Avoid Divorce in a Christian Marriage
Divorce is frequently seen as a game-plan that involves complications and procedures that can easily rearrange things and flip around an individual’s reality. Couples with kids also have to bear with double the pain and inconveniences of divorce. It is a challenging encounter, and the conflicts that it can bring can test the quality of individuals.
Divorce is indeed a painful encounter; however, you can deal with it without so much pain and inconvenience if you will have the option to adhere to some critical advice. Here is a portion of the tips that can improve the conflicts that divorce can bring.
Produce duplicates of your reports and records. As soon as you become aware of an impending divorce, you have to deliver photocopies of your stories, particularly those that contain financial documents including personal and business tax returns, financial statements, insurance arrangements, Visa records, and evidence of purchases of costly things.
Ensure your credit reputation. Cancel joint credits. Having confidence with your life partner will affect your financial assessment, and this won’t bring positive outcomes for your future, especially when delayed payments are made on the off chance that cancellations can’t be done or if your ex is the person who is paying obligations, it will be essential to make sure that payments are made regularly. It will also be smart on the off chance that you will have the option to make sure about a duplicate of mortgage and charge card applications, especially for joint credits. This will give details on the rundown of assets, liabilities, and the income of the two parties. If you have issues with uncovering assets that you speculate your husband is hiding from you, this will fill in as a valuable wellspring of information.
Determine the division of marital properties. For divorcing couples, it is an unquestionable requirement to know how features ought to be isolated equitably. Marital settlement agreements ought to be created that will recognize assets as well as the ones who are qualified to keep them to make sure that disarray or conflicts will be avoided in the since a long time ago run.
Divorce isn’t an easy phase to experience, yet you can reduce the difficulties by taking some vital tips to follow. Putting a cut off to an association, and achieving positive results from the procedure can be done quickly. The above-referenced tips are only a portion of the things that you can start with for a less unpleasant way to end the marriage.
Top Reasons For Divorce And Know How To Avoid Them In a Christian Marriage
Divorce is on the ascent at a high rate in this nation, and there are many reasons for it. The sanctity of matrimony doesn’t appear to carry the same value as it used to. You can find many reasons as to why a couple decides to get a divorce. At the point when a couple is facing issues, communication will, in general, break down, and relatively few couples pick to find support to save their marriage.
Relationships are hard, and they take a great deal of effort. In request to have a fruitful marriage, a team must be all around matched and have the same expectations from each other. If you are considering a divorce, you should initially look for help to save your marriage. Divorce should be viewed as the last hotel, not the first. Seeking help to rescue marriage is something that each couple needs eventually in time.
At the point when two or three have determined that their bond is not, at this point, successful, it is crucial to look for help with divorce. Couples counseling is one of the primary places to start when an individual begins thinking that divorce is the main alternative. There are many free administrations available that offer ways to help save your marriage.
The most vital thing to recall as a team is that communication is the key. At the point when communication breaks down, the entire framework stops working. At times it ends up being necessary to have somebody there to help you communicate with your mate in an increasingly effective manner.
The pain of divorce or the threat of divorce is genuine and can be paralyzing. It can stop you in your tracks and make you feel lost, miserable, and like you are spinning wild. However, you can retaliate to save your marriage. There are real answers to your marriage issues, and all you have to do is begin today. Let us share five things you can start with today quickly. These ideas are not complicated, yet they can be hard to do.
Another essential part of helping your relationship is figuring out what marital issues are the most pressing. If you can plunk down and determine what the main problems are, it will help you and your companion to distinguish precisely where you have to start working. A portion of those signs could be a total lack of communication, a constant clash that never appears to be settled, isolation from your partner, and a lack of physical or emotional intimacy. When you have determined what the issues in marriage are, you can begin to take a shot at repairing the damage. This is the hardest part.
Here is a short rundown of things you can begin on immediately to help fortify your weakened marriage:
1. Open the entryways for communication and take time to tune in to your life partner.
2. Stop complaining and instead start praising. It is easy to notice or point out the things that bother us in our life partner. However, all of these harms your relationship much more. Decide to be the one who stops it.
3. Be kind to your life partner. Why is that we can be harshest to those we love the most? Decide to show kindness and tenderness to your mate, whether you feel like it or not. Recall the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated.
4. Create open doors for entertainment only together. Laughing together is so acceptable. Decide to find ways to just appreciate each other again, rather than focusing on the issues you are at present facing.
5. Look for help from a trained relationship master. Decide to get the help you have to save your marriage. It’s out there, and you just should decide to reach out and take it.
Although this rundown is short and rather basic, it is a GREAT place to start. Marriages that are near divorce have almost lost all of these necessary actions and attitudes. Salvage your marriage and restore the adoration you once shared. It’s still there, and you simply have to rekindle it.
Things You Can Do to Stop Your Divorce In Christian Marriage.
There are three things you can do to stop your divorce in Christian marriage. Before we dig into the three things you can do to end your separation, we want to offer some tips that can save your marriage and make your marriage lasting. There are several reasons why many marriages usually end in divorce. Tolerance and patience are necessary for a marriage to stand the test of time.
In marriage, one must be happy to be a sheep and the other a goat. And I always advise ladies to be sheep; someone has to give in. For a marriage to work, the woman must be prepared to be accommodating and patient.
For a woman who accepts that the husband is involved in extra-marital affairs, the woman must be calm. The vast majority of our men are involved in extra-marital issues, and what an insightful woman who wants to keep her marriage has to do is make the most of marriage
Our little kids don’t help things. They forget that while they are breaking up another person’s marriage, their marriage can also be broken. In case your man has extramarital affairs, and there is nothing you can do, talk to his soul. Even the significant other of David Beckham once declared that she would not allow any pie to break off her marriage and that she is still married to her husband today. This is the kind of attitude that all women should have to stop any iota of divorce in their marriage.
Ladies should be accommodating with their husbands. These ladies who say they are released can never be more astute than God, who advised the ladies to be helping with their husbands.
To prevent your marriage from breaking up, women should never neglect the intensity of sex. Sex is the constraining factor of marriage. People say that the way to a man’s heart is food. It is not food alone. You should have hot and sizzling sex with your husband all the time. Whatever the little kid outside gives your husband, learn to give a lot more. In no time, your husband will drop the case.
Currently, here are three things you can do to end your divorce in Christian marriage.
1. Try not to impose an unreasonable request on your partner. Try not to encourage your partner to make choices quickly. Try not to insist that your wishes or desires be met. Stop all forms of analysis and complaints. Be calm and relax.
2. Try not to argue with your partner. Being argumentative is anything but decent behavior in any relationship. Learn to agree with everything your partner says or does. Just accept what your partner says.
3. Be your usual self in everything you do. Be calm, and trust your daily activities. Be happy and peaceful around your partner. In no time, the peace of God will overcome the situation.
Learn how to do these three things and end your divorce in Christian marriage calmly and non-aggressively. Stop this stranger from destroying your marriage. Recover your worship forever.
Is Your Mouth the Problem?
Are you nagging your spouse constantly? Perhaps its your mouth that is getting in the way? Are you interrogating your spouse? Many times, trust becomes an issue in marriage. Some couples tend to fight about small things. However, its important to not make your partner feel like they are going through a police officer interrogation. Here is an example of what an interrogation would feel like:
A wife asks her husband, “Where were you tonight?” The husband responds, “I was out with some friends playing cards.” The wife has jealousy inside of her heart. Instead of telling her husband that, she goes on to question him as though she was a lawyer or police office looking for answers:
- Who were you with?
- What were their names?
- Are you sure that you were at that person’s house?
- Where did you go after that?
- Were there any women there?
- Why did you not text me?
- Why do you want to spend time with them than with me?
- Am I not good enough for you?
- Do you love me?
- Do you want a divorce?
The husband is not feeling that he is under interrogation. He was simply playing cards with some men from the church and got caught up in the game. The only woman that was at the card game was the wife of one of the players that was handing out snacks to the guys. There were also kids playing in the upstairs. However, the husband did not get a chance to say all of that. The wife immediately went after him with questions that seemed to come out of nowhere.
The wife was feeling lonely and waiting for her husband to come home. Many men and women feel the need to socialize with other friends outside of the marriage. There is nothing wrong with that.
In this situation, the husband feels like he is being treated like a child. Unfortunately, this does is not a one-time incident. This keeps on happening through his marriage every time that he walks into the door. The husband feels that he is being nagged by his wife. The wife feels like her husband should be home more. Obviously, there is a difference of opinions in the marriage.
For this marriage to survive, this couple would have to come to an agreement on accepting each other for who they are. For instance, the wife would have to not nag her husband and realize that he does love her but needs his space from time to time and a night out with the guys.
The husband will also have to realize that when he is out with the guys, he will have to do one or a few check ins with his wife to show her that he is not out doing anything behind her back and he is just having some fun with his friends. If the couple can come to a mutual agreement, they can solve the issue. However, if the couple does not talk about this and keeps on coming at each other’s throats, it could end up in a divorce. This has happened to many times in Christian marriages across the world.
Can Jealousy End a Marriage?
If the husband or wife is to jealous in the marriage, it could end things. In many Christian marriages, the husband often feels that he does not want his wife to speak with other men. If she sees him chatting with another man, he gets jealous and starts yelling at her when she is at home. He may even start calling her a slut or a whore.
The wife may accuse her husband of cheating while he is at work. In many Christian marriages, the husband must work more than 40 hours a week to provide for the family. He may have to travel as well. The husband may not be able to check in with his wife throughout the day via phone calls and texts. However, the wife may not understand that and think that he is probably sleeping with another woman or flirting with someone at work.
Jealousy will often bring out the worst in us. Often, we are not thinking clearly when our jealousy gets in the way. There is probably nothing going on in either of these situations. However, sometimes you can say something mean or disrespectful and cause your spouse to think bad thoughts about you. That can be rough.
How to Save Your Marriage?
Christian couples often do not know how to save their marriage when something is seriously wrong. To save your marriage, you will need to go on a couples retreat together. Often, a two-week getaway without any gadgets will bring the marriage together again. This means that neither one of you can have any contact with the outside world or computer gadgets with you. It is only you and your spouse for two whole weeks without no distractions. This means that there is no more running and crying to relatives when you have a fight. There is no more social media to run to drown in your sorrows. There are no more playing video games to distract the two of you.
When its only you and your spouse together, you will find that your love does rekindle itself together again. Often, problems in a marriage become bigger because of life stress and distractions. When these things are taken away, the couple can become more in balance with one another and in love. You can rekindle your love again to make your marriage work out.
When was the last time that the two of you made love? When was the last time that the two of you read the Bible together? When did you last have fun playing a board game together or taking a long walk? These are the simple things in life that matter the most. Do not let this computerized world destroy you and your marriage. Allow yourself to see that there is a “light” at the end of a tunnel. In this way, you will be able to see for yourself that what you thought was impossible is not more possible. Life does not have to be so bad.
Close your eyes and ask Jesus to help the two of you to get your marriage back on track again. If you think about it, life happens when two people put their minds together to make the relationship work.
If either one of you is having an affair, stop the affair immediately. Remember that adultery is a sin and there is no reason for having an adulterous affair. Do not let Satan destroy your marriage.
When you are on your retreat together, take along some Christian books to read together about couples bonding and books about marriage problems. Read them together. You must do everything together on a retreat. This is important to get your marriage back on track again. You will find that when you do this, you are actually opening doors for the two of you to always be together and to feel like you can work on your problems as you walk through life.