Everything You Need to Know About Ghosting
Have you ever been in a relationship that didn’t end well? What happened? Did you receive a breakup message? Well, if you did, then you’re lucky. Not that you were lucky to receive a dumping notice, but at least you were warned and you knew it’s over.
There is this breed of people that do not bother to inform you that your relationship is dead. They simply cut all communication and keep snubbing you until you read between the lines. Others hook you up and disappear without a trace. It mostly happens on online dating apps. This is ghosting. Every ghoster has their reasons for doing so. However, is it justifiable?
Well, every mature relationship should at least end with a formal communication. You can’t leave one party hanging in the connection alone. To give them some benefit of the doubt, maybe no one intends to ghost. Now, let’s look at some of the common reasons why people ghost. Check this out.
Why Do People Ghost?
Ghosting can be so hurting for the victim. Most of them feel guilty about the mistakes they don’t even know about and end up trying to discover what they may have done. Sooner or later, self-esteem issues creep in. “Am I not good enough” is always the question in their heads. This can be devastating.
However, how does the ghoster feel? Are they always comfortable with what they do to their victims? Apparently, most of them feel remorseful. This shows that maybe only a few of the crazy ones enjoy ghosting. Here are some probable things that make people cut all forms of communication with their loved ones.
- It was never over with their ex
Remember that ex that still drives you crazy? Even though you two called it quits, you can grab any little chance that comes for the two of you to do some recap. Most people feel guilty about getting back with their exes. This is mostly because of the shitty things they’ve probably told their new catch about them. But does this stop them from doing some revision? Not at all.
Some exes are merely irresistible. You don’t have to feel bad when someone ghosts you. Being with an ex is not something you go around breaking the news to your current. As a result, they may decide to ghost a little bit until the ex is out of the picture again. Others end up starting over with their exes and forget about you altogether. It hurts, right?
- You are not their type
Online dating can sometimes be a scam. Being attracted to edited photos can make you think you’ve landed the prettiest person ever. Hell starts breaking loose once you go on your first date. The person you saw online and the one on the ground seem like two different people.
D o you tell them, “Hey, look. I thought you were so cute, but I’m disappointed,”? No, you don’t. Not even your worst enemy deserves that. The best thing people do is to ghost you once the date is over. You should not feel awful about this. You may not be their type, but you’re someone else’s type.
In this case, being ghosted is way much better than being spat on your face with a “You aren’t my type.” But at least a little lie like “I’m not ready for a relationship” could be better.
- The chemistry between you is zero
Having a pretty person doesn’t always translate to superb chemistry. Sometimes emotions don’t even result from your physical look but rather how the two of you connect. Dating someone you can’t connect with can never take your relationship anywhere.
As soon as someone realizes that the two of you have been forcing things, ghosting will automatically result. A more decent person will tell you. Woe betide you if you are into your ghoster. They say the lover suffers more than the beloved. Chemistry on one side always leaves the other one injured emotionally.
- They are going through some stuff
When a relationship is just starting, your lover may not be completely open with you. People go through shit, and it’s not their fault. A family member may die one week after your hook up. Or it could be a severe family issue that’s keeping your date from communicating with you.
Some people are so secretive. They would rather ghost you than explain their problems to you. They just don’t want to bother you because, for some reason, you may feel obligated to help. Consequently, they prefer to vanish in thin air and maybe resurface after the storm has calmed.
You should never try to involve yourself in someone’s stuff if they don’t want you to. The best thing to do is to wait until they are okay and can talk to you. But how will you know it’s a family issue keeping them behind the scenes? You won’t know. That’s why you should take every ghosting positively and hope that they will finally come back to you.
- You intimidated them
Successful people should only date other successful ones to prevent one party from feeling inferior. You go on a date with someone, explain all your accomplishments and they stare at you like they’ve seen a ghost. Well, they definitely turn into one right after the date.
Most people will always want to date those with lower levels of success to feel superior. But how does the other person feel? People have an ego to satisfy. They don’t go around dating people who are way more successful than them. Your success can intimidate someone from dating you.
When someone is out of your league, you won’t even confess it to them. It’s like pulling the trigger over your head. Ghosting looks like the next most comfortable option. And so when a recent date ignores you, you can comfort yourself and say, “I’m out of their league.”
- They are just an asshole
Have you ever been ghosted by someone who ends up stalking you? Well, this is one of the symptoms of a psycho. Someone is ignoring all your texts and calls, and there they are on the list of the people who viewed your Whats-app status. You’ll even find them on Facebook posting pictures of other people.
They may even talk to you. But they’ll never mention about your relationship and what happened. Some will also have the guts to ask you, “Who’s that?” when you post a picture of a new person. Most psychos love you. But they also love someone else. They don’t want to lose you, but they also want to be with that other person.
They end up ghosting you but tracking all your moves. They are dangerous, you know. Maybe getting a restraining order can do. But be happy you just dodged a bullet when this happens to you.
- They’re taking a break
A majority of ghosters have undergone the deep pain of breakups before. In numerous cases, they were loyal and ended up getting hurt. Hooking up someone else may just be a way of getting over their heartbreak. Not once, people have got into another relationship to heal from their previous.
Once a person gets healed, you may notice a change in their behavior. It’s reaches a time when they realize that they actually didn’t want another relationship, but they needed to move on instead. Now that they are fine, they remain with the baggage of a person who is genuinely in love with them, and they don’t know what to do.
Any person in this situation may not want to hurt you. Instead, they will withdraw a bit to think about what exactly they want and if they should continue with you or not. That’s when you’ll experience unanswered texts and calls that go straight to voicemail.
- They’re on a revenge mission
Everyone always has a first love to whom they give their everything. A genuinely loving person will have deep fantasies about their future with the person they love. When this turns into a disappointment, moving on is usually a bitter pill to swallow.
How do they revenge this? How do they compensate for the time, resources, and emotions lost? They end up doing the same to others to quench their thirst for payback. You could just be a victim caught up in the crossfire. As they say, most sex predators underwent sexual abuse in their childhood. Doing the same to others kind of makes them feel powerful at last.
Don’t take it too personally when someone ghosts you, especially after sharing a lot of incredible moments. It may hurt to notice that you were just a tool being used to make the ghoster feel better. But life moves on anyway.
What Is The Bottom Line?
If you’ve never been ghosted, your time could be coming. Brace yourself. If you’re going through it right now, always know that you are the good guy here. Whatever the reason is, no one deserves being ghosted. A simple line of “I’m going through something right now” should be decent enough to hint to someone than just ghosting them. If you are a victim, get up, dust yourself and walk your head high. It’s not your fault.