The term ‘puppy love‘ is often associated with the emotions that you feel when at a young age. You often mistake it for real love, when it’s most often just infatuation, attraction, attachment or lust.
The emotion love is often mistaken for something else when we feel it, and it’s for this reason that the term ‘puppy love’ was made. Puppy love often refers to an immature and short-term kind of love, compared to other forms of love and this is often what we use to describe our primary encounter of first love.
Most often that not, your first love is what you call ‘puppy love’ especially if it happens at a young age, perhaps high school or college.
Puppy Love Versus Real Love
Contrary to real love, puppy love doesn’t have a stable foundation which is why it doesn’t last very long. Puppy love is normally based on a physical attraction or a selfish need, nothing more than that.
When you fall in love with them in a ‘love at first sight’ kind of way, this is an example what puppy love is all about. It’s not based on anything concrete, such as a friendship. When asked what you love most about them, the reasons are usually surface-level and nothing deep, like their mind of their personality.
Puppy love has more to do what with they make you feel, as you normally feel a high of emotions when you’re with them. You adore how they look and their personality, and that’s the basis of your attraction to them. With a puppy love, you have no real and concrete basis as to what love is.
You think that what you have with that person is real and long-lasting love, but it’s just puppy love. Another characteristic of a puppy love is you feel attached to them, even when you don’t them that well. Whether it’s based on infatuation, attachment or lust, you feel dependent on this person to make you happy.
Puppy love relationships tend to be co-dependent for the very reason that they have an unhealthy attachment to the other person. In real love, it’s common to feel attached to the other person- in a healthy manner. Real love is more about partnership and companionship, whereas puppy love is dependent on the high of emotions they get from being around the other person.
You feel a specific kind of adrenaline rush when you’re with them, and it only lasts as long as you’re with them. When you’re without them, you feel at lost with yourself. You don’t know what makes you happy outside of the relationship- which is why puppy love tends to become toxic and unhealthy in the long run.
As the saying goes, when you really love the person, you’ll know. With real love, it’ll naturally feel like coming home, whenever you’re with them. There isn’t any other feeling like that.
With puppy love, that isn’t exactly what you feel. Puppy love makes you feel more adrenaline, excitement and a huge wave of emotions- all at once. Real love is more stable and secure. You feel comfortable when you’re with them, and you don’t have to try too hard to please them.
Everything feels natural. Puppy love is the kind of love that’s usually portrayed in the media, which is why people may think love is supposed to be full of adrenaline, excitement and a rush of emotions. That isn’t to say that real love isn’t exciting enough, but it settles down into a more at home feeling when the relationship gets passed the honeymoon phase.
Real love is about forgiveness, patience and kindness and that isn’t a concept that’s followed in puppy love. This is why puppy love is often short-term; because when an argument and conflict is present, resentment rises which causes the relationship to fall.
Puppy love doesn’t have the stability and foundation to get pass conflicts and frustrations, unlike real love, and that’s why a puppy love relationship ends just as quickly as it started. The on-off concept is also popular in puppy love, and they can’t decide between trying to make the relationship work, or breaking up.
It’s a constant pull-push motion and couples are always looking for that high of emotions when a breakup happens. In real love, however, you’re quick to forgive one another. Love is patient, and that’s a concept that’s evident in real love. No matter what faults the other does, you’re quick to forgive them and choose love over their flaws and mistakes. There is no understanding present in puppy love, since it often stems from a selfish and self-sustained need.
It’s about satisfying their own needs, and it has less to do with making the other happy. If you do want to make the other person happy, there’s usually an expectation of getting something in return. This is why there’s no room for understanding and patience in a puppy love relationship and all that matters is being understood on your own terms.
On the same topic of patience, this is why puppy love is also often rushed. The natural tendency is that you want to start a relationship with them right away, even before getting to know them first. With puppy love, you’re more in love with the idea of being in love with them rather than the reality of who they real are.
If you’re looking for signs that can tell for sure that it isn’t real love, at least not yet, then this would be it. When you love someone, you’ll be patient with them, no matter how frustrating it can be. There’s no rush when it comes to real love, but you wait for the right timing to start a relationship with them. After all, that’s how you build a strong and stable foundation for a relationship.
If it’s real love, you’ll find even their weirdness and quirks adorable. In fact, you’ll love their imperfections and flaws even more, if you really love the person. However, if it’s puppy love, you’ll find every one of their quirks annoying and frustrating.
Their weirdness doesn’t make you happy, but it just triggers your frustration. If it’s puppy, you have a certain expectation as to how they’re supposed to act. You most likely have this perfect idea of relationships and love, and that’s what you try to integrate in a puppy love relationship.
When you really love the person, you let them be their true selves, no matter how weird they are. Love and relationships is all about someone who can accept you for who you truly are, and not try to force you into someone you’re not. Real love is about accepting and embracing even the darkest parts of someone, without trying to fox or change them into what you want them to be.
The reason why puppy love fails is that when darkness hits, the relationship isn’t secure enough to handle the ugly parts of the relationship. With puppy love, there’s an expectation that everything should go smoothly and perfectly, that the relationship is comprised of sunshine and rainbows.
However, with real love, it’s about handling both the light and darkness of a relationship. In fact, storms makes a relationship stronger and it tests whether what you have is real love or simply just puppy love.
When you’re in a puppy love relationship. your definition of love is normally vague and far from what love really is. You’d have the misconception that love is based on a feeling, and when that feeling fades, you no longer love the person and you end up leaving the relationship. Love for you is about emotions and is fulfilling your idea of being in love with love, rather than the actual person you’re with.
Love for you is based on exchanging gifts, romantic gestures and physical intimacy, as portrayed in the media. When reality is different from your expectation of what love is, you think it isn’t love anymore. You base love on feeling butterflies on your stomach, and depending on them to make you happy and contented in your life.
Love is co-dependent and you feel like you’re unable to breathe when you aren’t with them. Love is surface-level and you rely on your physical attraction to them to give you a high of emotions. Most importantly, puppy love isn’t based on anything real and concrete which is why it ends as fast as it began.
Unlike puppy love, real love is based on a choice and a commitment to love the other person- no matter how frustrating things get. Love is expecting the darkness along with the light, and surviving them together with your partner.
Love isn’t co-dependent, but it’s motivating and building each other to be the best version of yourselves. Unlike puppy love, real love is stable, secure and doesn’t just fall apart when challenges and conflict arise. Real love becomes stronger in the face of storms and you know that love is completely far from what’s portrayed in the media.