Why Do Men Feel Like They Are Under Interrogation In Romantic Relationships?
More men are complaining that they feel that their girlfriends and wives are more like FBI agents than lovers. This is a rather new trend that has been happening over the past few years. Men are often complaining that Their conversations often go something like this:
- Man: Hi baby, how are you doing today?
- Woman: I am doing fine. How are you?
- Man: I am doing good. I was busy at work today.
- Woman: Oh really, what did you do today?
- Man: I had to deal with customers and my work was rather tough.
- Woman: Did you talk to anyone today while you were at work?
- Man: Yes, a few customers and I had a text from one of my friends.
- Woman: What friend? Was it a woman?
- Man: Yes, it was my friend Lisa.
- Woman: What did she say? Does she contact you often?
- Man: No often, but we do talk from time to time.
- Woman: Are you sure because I think I heard you mention her a few days ago.
- Man: Yes, I am sure, she told me about her workdays as well. She will reach out to me sometimes to let me know that she is saying hello.
- Woman: Are you sure that she is not into you more than a friend? She seems to be texting you a lot lately. Do you like her more than a friend?
- Man: No, she is just a friend.
- Woman: Really because it looks to me like you enjoy texting her. If you like her more than me, then just let me know.
- Man: No, I just have some women friends. They are not girlfriends.
- Woman: Are you sure that you are not seeing her outside of work? It seems that way. Maybe you would rather spend your time with her than me.
- Man: No, that is not true. She just texts me sometimes to be friendly.
- Woman: It seems like you want the attention from her. You never tell her to go away. Its like you are choosing her over me. I do not want her texting you anymore.
- Man: I can talk to other women besides you. You cannot tell me who to talk to or text.
Man Walks Off Angry…….
22. Woman: She thinks to herself that she is now going to spy on his phone when he goes into the bathroom to see if she can catch him in a lie.
As you can see from this conversation, the man is being interrogated. He feels that he is simply chatting with another woman. However, the woman feels that he or the woman that he is chatting with has other motives. This makes the man feel upset and so he walks out the room because he feels that he is being interrogated. He cannot understand how a simple text conversation can now turn into him wanting another woman in his life.
This example is what a lot of relationships are going through in today’s world. Many men today complain that the woman is often accusing him of cheating or wanting to be with another woman over her. The world is dealing with a lot of trust issues.
Women often get to the level of an FBI agent when they have been cheated on and lied to by many men that they have dated before in the past. It can be devastating to put your heart into someone that is not giving you their heart back in return.
However, if you are the woman above, you need to pay attention to what I am about to say. You will only chase a man away if you bring accusations or assumptions into the relationship. If you question his loyalty to you, he will push you back and often walk out of the room. Men do not like to be questioned. Men are not stupid and know that you are trying to “dig for information”. It is important that you stop digging and let him tell you what is really going on.
Men are often puzzled by a woman’s accusations if he is innocent. Before questioning him, make sure to get your own facts. If you caught him in a lie, present the evidence to him. If you have no proof, its best to keep the questioning and accusations to yourself. If you do not, you can possibly lose him. He may write you off as just being problematic and accusing him of things that he is not guilty of.
You want an honest man. However, we live in a world today that is full of dishonesty. You may have met your fair share of cheaters, liars, and back stabbers. However, you cannot assume that the man that you are with now is going to be the same way as the others. If you cannot trust him or take his words as truth, then its best for you to step aside from the relationship. Its best for you to clear your energy through meditation, counseling, and journaling. You need to reset your mind and realize that you may be acting more like a cop instead of a lover to your man.
Why Do Some Men Lie?
Men often lie because they feel that you do not deserve to know the truth. This can be for different reasons. Perhaps you annoy him enough that he feels that lying makes his life easier. Sometimes men feel that they will be honest with you and then find that a woman will attack him for telling the truth. Men often fear getting into arguments with their lovers. They do not want to tell the truth often because they feel that there will be less drama if they lie.
Once a man begins to lie to their lover, he has lost respect for you. He believes that lying will save him the agony of listening to your words. If your relationship has gotten to this level, you need to ask him what actions you are doing that make him angry. You may not even know that you are acting like an FBI agent. Perhaps this is all new to you. However, you need to get to the bottom of why so that you can stop the lying.
If you have not noticed, men love to avoid confrontation as much as possible. You will often feel that your words may not be getting through to him. Perhaps you have explained to him what your feelings are. For the most part, you sense that he understands who you are as a person.
Why Have You Become An FBI Agent?
Most women that act like FBI agents with their lovers did not get that way over night. Once you found out that a man was lying to you, you felt that your trust in men overall would be challenged. You decided at some point that interrogating him with a series of questions may get the truth out of him. You thought/still think that asking question after question will get you the results that you need.
However, men around the world are getting tired of lovers acting like FBI agents and interrogating them. Most men are saying that they prefer normal conversation and not so many questions. Why? It is because men know what the woman is trying to do. She is “fishing” for information, and he feels disrespected.
Men today feel that they must keep their guard up because they think that the woman may have other motives. If your relationship is in trouble because of your questioning and interrogating ways, there are still ways to save it. Here is how to save your relationship:
- Stop being an FBI interrogator.
- Stop asking him one question after the other to dig for information (men do not like that).
- If you do not trust him, leave the relationship.
- If you do not have proof into your accusations, do not say anything.
- Do not look at his cell phone when he leaves the room.
- Do not stalk his Facebook and Instagram account looking to him chatting with other women.
- Stop making him feel like he has a police officer watching over him.
- Get counseling if you have past baggage that you are still holding onto from a previous relationship.
- Read the Holy Bible and other religious books to see what you may be doing wrong.
Ask your friends and family members is they see the FBI agent in you. Perhaps you do this with your family and friends as well. This kind of behavior can drive them away as well.
As you can see, your interrogation techniques did not happen overnight. It is important to get back to smooth conversations again. Let us look at how you can make the conversation better this time around:
- Man: Hey baby, what is going on. I just got off work.
- Woman: That is great. I really miss you. I hope that we can hang out.
- Man: Yes, that would be great. I would love to see you again and have some fun.
- Woman: What did you do at work today?
- Man: I was busy with customers and texted a few people.
- Woman: That is good to hear. I am happy to hear that you have friends that like you just as much as I do. (Notice, no mention of whether they were male or female).
- Man: Yes, I like having good friends. What did you do all day today?
- Woman: I was working hard and talking to a few friends as well.
- Man: That is good to hear. I am happy that the day went fast.
- Woman: Yes, me to. I was thinking that maybe we can grab dinner or see a movie in Netflix sometime this week.
- Man: Yes, that would be great. I was thinking of watching a new movie today. Chinese food sounds good. Why don’t I swing by later and we can get some?
- Woman: That is good. I cannot wait to see you. Bye my love.
- Man: I love you to.
As you can see, the conversation flows a lot easier. The man does not feel like he is being interrogated. The woman kept her jealous and untrusting side to herself. Even though she was dying to know if she was speaking to a man or a woman, she kept her questioning to a low. She avoided conflict and, in the end, he wanted to see her because he felt loved and not accused of any wrongdoing.
If more conversations ended like this, there would be more loving relationships in the world. When you start to talk about trusting him and what he should be doing or not doing, it only pushes him away.
To avoid being single for the rest of your life, you are going to have to find a way to keep your fears to yourself. Yes, some things should never be spoken unless you have 100% proof. If you have no proof and your fears are reminding you of your ex that cheated and lied to you, its time to get rid of the baggage. Do not become a question box.
If you are asking him to many questions, he will let you know by not texting or calling you. Did you know that most men avoid their lovers when they feel like they are about to be interrogated? Most men will call everyone else but you if you do not make him feel good and happy.
He does not want drama. If you do not want to become the booty call in his life, he needs to feel that you are not going to question him to death. He needs to know that when he talks to you, you treat him as his friends do. He knows that when he talks to his friends, they are calm and easy. They are not questioning him.
The conversations are smooth flowing. He often feels a sense of relaxation. The worst thing that you can do is to make him feel that you are going to challenge him every time that the two of you talk.
Do not tell him everything that bothers you about him. Keep it to yourself. Only talk about something if it is a deal breaker for the relationship. If you feel that he is not the man for you, then walk away. However, do not become his worst nightmare and the pain in the neck that he fears talking to.
The problem with most relationships today is that respect has been lost. If you have had multiple lovers before in your past, it is understandable as to why you cannot trust anyone any longer. However, if you want to avoid being the “cat lady” when you are older, you are going to have to learn to “suck it up” and not worry so much. You will keep a man longer in your life if you do less complaining and interrogating.
What Is Your Main Goal?
The main goal of your romantic relationship is to get him to want to spend more time with you. Perhaps have a future marriage or live in situation. Your main goal is to want him to text and talk to you more. The cooler and calmer it is for him to do that, the more you will hear from him.
You will hear less from your husband/boyfriend if he feels that you will become a problem for him when he contacts you. Stop asking so many questions. I do not know how to say it more bluntly.
How To Get Him To Spend More Time With You
If you want him to spend more time with you, he needs to know that you will not interrogate him or make him feel that he is not giving him enough. He does not want to hear you complaining about why he was with his friends instead of you. He does not want to hear that you think that he was spending more time with other women. He simply does not want to hear the drama.
Men often avoid women when they feel that their time spent with them is going to cause some drama. He does not want to hear how horrible of a person he is because you think that he should have done something different. There is such a thing as keeping negative comments and accusations to yourself. It will be doing you justice if you let him feel that he can do what he wants and yet have a peaceful time with you when he is hanging out.
Talk to him about things that would bring happiness to your relationship. If he finds you to be boring, you will feel that it is a tough journey for the two of you. You need to make him feel that he can be enticed by your words of love. He wants to see that when you get together, there is always some peaceful talks.
It is important for you to save your negative thoughts and share them with your friends. You can tell your friends that you think that he is cheating on you or talking to other girls. However, do not let him know that this is what you are thinking. Let him see that you have your own mindset. He needs to see that you have given him a lot of happiness and peace. When you speak to him, let it be mostly about the two of you having fun together and enjoying one another’s company. Let the FBI do their own police work. You are not an FBI agent and therefore, you should not do any kind of interrogation.
The object of the relationship is to bring the two of you together in love and harmony. You want your boyfriend/husband to feel like he can depend on you during hard times and that he can tell you anything without it turning into something dramatic and FBI like.
Yes, you can certainly change your life by giving the man of your dreams something that he can be proud of. The more that you show him that love matters to you, the more that he will appreciate that side of you. It is always important to make him feel like he can be trusted in numerous ways. I think that you can make him feel more connected to you each time that you are around one another. Let him see that you have eyes for him and love as well. The more that he sees that you are flexible with him, the better.
What If you Find Out That He Was Doing Something Behind Your Back?
Deception is still in the world. Falling in love is a risk and it does hurt to find out that the man that you thought was yours, was also falling for someone else. However, you need to remember that not all men are liars and cheaters. If that has been your experience, then you are choosing the wrong types of guys to date.
Perhaps you should date men with more morals. Dating a spiritual man is what you may need. You need to focus on why someone may be cheating on you as well. Perhaps you were acting like an FBI agent with them as well and they wanted to bail out on the relationship.
It is important to look deeply at your own actions and see what you can do differently to make this relationship work out better. I hope that you have gotten some good information here. The purpose of this article is to not make you feel bad about yourself, but to make you have a more productive dating future. Without having the right conversation skills, you will mess up your relationships repeatedly. This goes for love and friendships. You do not want to be known as the question box girl. You instead want to be known for the loving person that you are. Show your man that you trust him and will not question his integrity unless you have 100% proof of what he did wrong.