What I Wish My Father Would Have Told Me When I Was 20

Like millions of people around the world, I grew up without a father. I lost him when I was just 15 years old. I did not have a good relationship with my father before he died. It was hard to talk to him because he was a quiet man that kept to himself.  When you are a teenager, you see the world a lot different than you do as an adult. 

When I was a teenager, I thought that I would accomplish all my dreams by the time that I was 30.  Back then, I thought that 30 was old.  I thought that all dreams come together for people that work hard and who have a plan.

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“Losing Your Dad Early In Life Leaves An Empty Hole Inside of You”

Unfortunately, when I hit 20 years of age, I thought that something was wrong.  My plans had been delayed for going to college because my uncle got sick and the family had to take care of him. I had to get a job flipping burgers and that ruined my chances at graduating from college when I was 22.  In fact, I did not start college until I was 36. 

I had to spend years working odd jobs because I had no job skills or education to get a better job.  Without my family being able to afford to send me to college, I had to take jobs that often paid a little over minimum wage.

My Dreams Were Shattered

I learned in my 20’s, that not all dreams happen because of obstacles getting in the way.  However, my 30’s taught me that your dream does not have to die because it did not go according to schedule. 

I got my bachelor’s degree at the age of 39.  I believe that my life started at 40. You will only understand this life lesson when you turn 40. I learned that some things in life cannot be taught in school.  In fact, most things in life can only be taught to us through life experience. 

My dad never told me that life is more about persevering through the hard times.  You often do not accomplish what you set out to do in the timing that you choose.  In fact, most of what you hope to accomplish will not happen until it is meant to. 

Most men and women want to believe that they can get what they want when they are young.  When we are in our 20’s, we want everything now. We want to show off to our friends that we can stand out amongst the crowd.  You also want to be more of a people pleaser.

You want everyone to like you. You want the world to give you what you desire. However, as you grow in life, you will realize that life often does not give you what you hoped for. Most of your dreams will not happen in the time that you had hoped for. 

You will often come to see that your mother and father cannot be there for you when you need them the most. You learn that becoming your own person and standing on your own two feet are what matters the most.

Money Will Always Be A Problem

I wish that my father told me that money would always be a problem. No matter how wealthy you are, there is always a chance that you could lose it all tomorrow. 

If you have a savings account, a health emergency can wipe you out. Be it for you or another relative, you can have a complete wipeout. It is important to see that you are important. You have a lot to offer the world and you can see for yourself that the world is a rather cruel place.  People do not often love you as they did in high school. 

As you grow up in life, you will come to see that most friends are not really your friends.  In fact, they are just out to use you for whatever they can get out of you. I wish that my dad told me that a lot of people that come into your life will often want something from you.

Most people are takers and therefore, you must watch your back. You must be careful of who you associate yourself with.  You need to be very selective of who comes into your life. If not, you may find yourself in a position of being used. 

Money is something that we all need in life. It buys us what we want. However, it does not always give us the security that we had hoped for.  In fact, money will often make us feel like we need more power.  I know that its hard to get money because it does not come easy.

Loyalty Is Not Real

It is important to see that all human beings have the capability of betraying you. Yes, even your own family members will disappoint you.  It is important to understand that you may not get everything that you want through your personal relationships. 

You may think that you can count on a friend or family member to help you, but they may not always come through for you.  That can be rather complicated.

You would expect those that are closest to you to be the most loyal. However, life will prove to you that this is not often the case. Often, your friends will become your worst enemies later in life. This is something that you may not expect. The friend that you had in high school may become the most distant person that you ever met before.  I wish that my father would have told me that when I was 20.

Relationships Come And Go

Love relationships are not always what we want them to be.  You may think that you are dating someone that you will spend the rest of your life with, but it is not going to work that way. You may have to go through a series of relationships before you score the right soulmate. You will often not find this when you are 20.

We live in a world today where most people feel let down by life. Of course, when you are in high school, you swear that you are going to be a lot distant than most adults that you meet. However, you will come to find out that at some point of your life, you will be just like them.  You may even choose to walk down a sinful path in life because you will come to see that your inner demons come out and you cannot control them. They will often come to overpower you. 

The person that you trusted the most in love is only going to disappoint you time and time again.  Learn to understand that you have no control over anything that comes into your life.  It appears there is some type of cloud hovering over us that controls everything that we do. Our life choices will often follow us for the rest of our lives.  This may not always be what is the best for us. 

You May Have To Live In The Ghetto

I wish my dad would have told me that I would have to live in the ghetto because, you must have a good enough job to pay for a home in a middle-class neighborhood. Living in a nice home is not about race or discrimination. Instead, its about how much money you earn to afford the lifestyle that you wish to have. 

Without a good job skill or proper education, you will end up living in the ghetto. You will come to see that life is unfair. You are not lazy.  You put in the hard work.

However, your employers do not want to pay you anything over minimum wage.  It is a never-ending cycle for millions of people.  You will come to hate the neighborhood that you live in if you are afraid to walk outside of your home.  I wish my father told me that this would happen to me at some point of my life. 

As you can see, life is unpredictable.  We often cannot see what lays ahead of us.  Unless you are a psychic, you cannot see the challenges that will always be a part of your life. At times it will be rather difficult to see life for what it is.  You need to always learn what will work for you in life and then see that there is an answer that you may have not seen before.

Life must never be taken for granted. It is precious.  We all want to believe that our life has a purpose.  We all want to make sure that what we want to accomplish happens for us.  Yes, you will be able to see for yourself that everything in life has a sequence to it. We often do not know the order that things will happen for us. We can only predict that our dreams may not happen at the time that we want them to. You may not get your dream home until you are 50.  You may not drive your dream car until you are 45. I wish my father would have told me this.

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