There is no doubt that marriage is one of the oldest institutions and it has survived many turmoil, and travails. However, as life becomes more complicated, more stressful and more uncertain, there are reasons to believe that even a good married relationship could be in quite a bit of strain and trouble.
It does take quite a bit of effort on part of both the partners to make marriage work and ensure that it stands the test of time. In this article, we will look at various aspects of marriage and perhaps learn about a few things that may make marriage work.
Further we also will look at the different stages of marriage and also learn a few things that happen outside the ambit of marriage. Though these are undesirable, in spite of our best efforts, it keeps happening.
Throwing light on a few of these things may help to retrieve marriages that are going astray because of a number of reasons. We are sure that the information that is being shared over the next few lines are useful, practical and can perhaps be true in many situations.
Hence, without wasting too much of time let us look at the various facets of marriage, relationship between a man and woman and the other aspects that may not have been defined under the ambit of a successful and good marriage.
What Is a Good Relationship Between Husband And Wife?
We need to understand that marriage generally happens between two individuals about whom much is known. Yes dating and falling in love gives the couples a chance to discover one another but at the end of this cannot be taken as something that could be the final word when it comes to fully knowing a man and a woman.
However, once a wedding has taken place and a man and woman have been declared husband and wife, there is a responsibility on both of them to try to cultivate a good relationship. We are listing down some useful points that could be considered as the cornerstone between a healthy relationship between a wife and husband.
Truthfulness is perhaps one of the most important characteristics for a successful marriage and a good relationship between a husband and wife. When both the man and woman are truthful to one another this breed respects and trusts.
Trust is one of the most important cornerstones for any successful marriage and this cannot come without both the man and woman being truthful to one another.
Matching Intelligence: A man and a woman often fail in this attribute before they become husband and wife. Husband and wife cannot afford to live in different silos and they need to be constantly in communication with one another.
There is no doubt that communication becomes interesting, invigorating and easier if both the partners are of the same wavelength or intelligence. Many marriages fall apart because the husbands and wives have different intelligence levels and therefore there is no common meeting ground between them.
Communication: Regular communication is an interesting requirement for successful marriages. Both the husband and wife must be willing to communicate and speak their heart out without inhibition and hesitation. Both the man and the woman must understand what the other person is saying and must react and discourse on the matter accordingly.
It has been proven time and again that spouses who are great communicators are likely to have successful marriages compared to those who like to keep things to themselves. This often leads to frustration and unhappiness and also creates doubts and removes trust between couples and partners.
Compromise: There is a saying that “no marriages are perfect and the man and woman have to work to make it perfect”. This is largely true because both the man and the women are from different backgrounds, culture, upbringings and ways of life.
Hence, there ought to be differences of opinions, differences in thought and perceptions. When they get married one cannot expect these differences and perceptions to vanish overnight.
They will continue to remain. However, for the sake of marriage and for the sake of the family, the responsibility lies on the man and the woman to learn the meaning and scope of compromise and follow it as best as they can.
Fighting over trivial issues and not being in a position to understand the other person’s problems could lead to stress and could eventually damage a marriage. Hence, both the man and the woman should find out ways and means to compromise and move ahead rather than getting stuck in trivial things and issues.
Sex: Whether one may agree or not, sex does have a role to play in a successful marriage between a man and women. Human beings have biological requirements and needs and it would be wrong to assume that it completely dies down after a certain age.
Yes, the desire for regular sex might come down a bit with age, but there is no doubt that there will be a need for it once in a while. This should be understood by both the man and the woman and they should work towards satisfying each other sexually. There should not be any ego or dislike in this area and if it happens, more often than not the relationship could be heading the wrong way.
Avoiding domination: Relationships between a married man and woman should be on even keel. It would be wrong to believe that one is superior to the other. This often happens with men and the women feel suffocated and uncomfortable.
When this becomes a regular habit, at times the woman seeks solace and comfort outside marriage and then all problems start cropping up. Therefore, being respectful to one another and avoiding domination is one of the most important points to be kept in mind as far as any marriage is concerned.
You may have to change: When life is in a constant state of flux and change, how can a man and woman continue to remain steadfast in their own beliefs, thought processes and way of living lives? They also need to change when a new man or woman enters their life after marriage.
In such a situation, there is a need to bring in some changes. These changes in most of the cases prove to be positive and could help in making the relationship between the man and woman strong and the trust and happiness between them increases quite significantly.
What Are The 7 Stages Of Marriage?
It would be interesting to look at the seven stages of marriage because at the end of the day marriage is never constant. It evolves, and goes through a series of changes or phases. According to experts, there are seven different stages of marriage and it would be interesting to have a brief look at each one of them.
Honeymoon Phase: This is often considered to be the most tender, romantic and idealistic phase of any marriage. This phase comes into effect immediately after the wedding and it lasts for several months. In many cases, it may last even for a year or two.
It would be pertinent to mention here that he Israeli army would not conscript men and women if they have been married for less than one year. This is because they consider this to be the most important phase when it comes to building a steady and happy relationship.
The Adjustment Phase: The term honeymoon phase is over has perhaps come with some reason behind it. The adjustment phase follows the honeymoon phase where both the man and the woman are lost in passion, lust and desire for physical and emotional intimacy.
However, as things start to wear down and they have to get back to the harsh realities of day to day life the honeymoon phase starts to wane away slowly. The task of taking care of the family on part of the man and child bearing and child rearing activities of the woman may result in both of starting to adjust to the new way of life.
The great escape phase: After around three or four years of marriage, there could be a stage where the spouses could engage in a power struggle. This perhaps is done to draw their lines and also create their own turf.
At this stage, they may start realizing that there are some vices also in their partners which so far was not seen or their preoccupation with passion, love or sex may have blinded these so called vices. In many cases, the vices may be imaginary or also could be real.
The reassessment phase: This phase usually happens during the first or second decade of marriage. In this phase, the couples often resign themselves to their situation that they are in. They start to mature and the maturity happens much faster if they have children.
They would certainly like to be good mentors and role models for their children. The husband and the wife try to recommit themselves to the marriage at least for the sake of their children. Serious minded husbands and wives do not mind sitting down and discussing things and finding out ways and means to iron out their differences.
The phase of growing together: There is no doubt that the journey till the reassessment phase will not be all smooth sailing for most of the married couples. As children grow up, go to college and as one or both the spouses get into good careers, life may be smooth sailing after all.
In such situations, quite often the couple start discovering the lost love once again. As things are smooth on the domestic front, many of them would not mind going out on a second honeymoon trip and they may make a serious commitment to their marriage once again. Quite often the phrase “till death do us apart” happens here.
The phase of midlife strife: Women go through quite a bit of biological changes during their 40s and 50s. This could often lead to what is known as a midlife marriage crisis. This should be handled with care and patience.
If this fails to happen, it is quite possible that there could be a downward spiral in the relationships and in some situations it also could lead to separation and even divorce in a few cases.
The fulfillment phase: This happens after a few decades of marriage. The man and the woman may be surprised that they have managed to come this far together.
This gives them satisfaction and contentment and they start having a feeling that their marriage has fulfilled most of their basic needs, though there could have been some problems here and there.
More and more couples are perhaps understanding the importance of staying together and raising a good family. This is supported by the fact that divorce rates have come down to 50% compared to much higher levels. It still is quite high but things are at least moving in the right direction.
What Is A Normal Marriage Relationship?
Here are some qualities that could be considered essential for a healthy and normal married relationship
You feel safe and happy with your spouse and have the same feelings when alone.
You believe in motivating each other as much as you can.
You believe in accepting each other for what you are. You refrain from being judgmental.
You believe in sharing your opinion freely, being pretty sure that your spouse will give a patient hearing to it and appreciate your point of view.
You feel safe when expressing your opinion and feelings.
Your relationship with one another is the main priority.
If the above qualities are present, we can safely say that the marriage is headed in the right direction and the relationship could also be stable and may withstand the long haul.
What Do You Call A Married Man’s Girlfriend?
There are many names that are given to the girlfriend of a man who already is married. Some prefer calling them as mistresses, while there are others who prefer calling her as a girlfriend. Many also call her as the “other woman” and so on.
Is Dating While Separated Cheating?
Quite often we come across the question as to whether dating while couples are separated amount to cheating. This is a tough question to answer because of some reasons. For some it may be considered as cheating while for others it may not be so.
This varies from couple to couple and also would depend on the kind of promises that they may have made to one another. It also may depend on the expectation that the spouses hold towards one another. We however, need to make a difference between temporary affairs when the couple agrees mutually to stay separated from one another.
This is completely different when compared to a romantic involvement once a legal and final separation has been agreed upon by both the parties. However, we need to bear in mind that dating another woman while a man is technically married could have legal problems that may be detrimental to the man and also the woman.
Is It OK To Date While Married?
Quite often we tend to associate dating that is done by a man and woman before marriage. However, this is more an unwritten rule and there is nothing sacrosanct about this. Dating while being single is the norm but today many married men and women are understanding the importance and significance of dating even after marriage.
There are many men and women to date other men and women casually even after marriage. Many women do not mind dating poly guys after marriage and they believe that it is exciting and amazing. It could also add to social skills and could help in better communication and this kind of skill and mindset is not often found in many men.
Whether the women and men do it transparently or discreetly is a matter of choice. However, there is no denying the fact that husbands and wives who love one another may not take kindly to such dating while they are still married.
It also could have some serious legal ramifications especially in some states where the marriage laws are still old and not as liberal as it is in some other states.
Is Sleeping With Someone While Separated Adultery?
Answering the question is sleeping with somebody while separated from adultery? It also could be an awkward subject. The question of entering into a sexual relationship with another man or woman while a couple is separated could depend on various reasons and situations.
If the marriage has broken down completely and if the couple are staying separately in the same house or different house could mean that there is hardly any chance of reconciliation.
However, if there is a petition in the court and if the man or woman decides to pursue a sexual relationship then it could amount to adultery, but it again could vary from one state to another.
You also need to bear in mind that the other party may take advantage of the adultery on one’s part and make it a ground for divorce proceedings. However, there are others who believe that once a couple has separated mutually, having a sexual encounter or sexual intercourse hardly matters.
However, still such time the court gives the divorce, the parties even if they are separated continue to be married and are considered as husband and wife. From a legal perspective, engaging in sex with some other man or woman during separation is considered as adultery and the party who is at fault will have to face the resultant consequences.
What Should You Not Do During Separation?
If you are separated from your spouse because of various reasons, here are a few things that you should not do.
You should not publicize it. People like some exciting and juicy stuff and many of them want such stories to munch and talk about. You will hear many stories and the worst thing is that it may come back to you or your spouse and this complicates matters even further.
Don’t make the mistake of moving out of your home in case you have decided to separate. Once you do it, your chances of retaining control of time with your children or even your belongings reduce quite drastically.
Don’t believe in not doing anything. Do not continue to pay bills and mortgage even if your spouse continues to stay in the same house. Talk to the other person and draw a clear distinction as to which bill you will pay and which the other person will have to pay.
Don’t date other men or women just for the heck of it. Stay away from casual dating and rather use the time for looking back on your marriage, why it is failing and the road ahead.
What Happens If You Cheat While Married?
Cheating has different meanings and connotations as far as individuals and spouses are concerned. However, in the court of law having sexual intercourse with another man or woman amounts to cheating and it could lead to divorces, alimony and other such problems.
How can you tell if your spouse is lying?
Here are some symptoms that could mean that your spouse is lying.
Avoiding eye contact, turning away from you while you are discussing something and eyes glancing here and there.
Not being upfront but being hesitant.
Body language and facial expressions don’t connect with what is being said.
Denying accusations continuously.
Crossing legs or arms.
Perspiring when the day is not so hot.
How Common Are Affairs In Marriage?
There is no doubt that cheating does occur in marriages whether we may like it or not. However, the incidents of cheating are more common amongst the upper middle class and rich classes of men and women. It is not so pronounced in cultures that are conservative.
72% of men and women cheat if they belong to the rich class and it is just 25% in conservative cultures. Hence there are reasons to believe that affairs outside marriage are getting more common and pronounced.
Who Cheats Most In A Relationship?
In general, it has been found that men are likely to cheat more when compared to women. Women mostly look for security and safety. According to some research studies 20% of men and around 13% of women have had sex outside marriage.
This gap may look small but it widens as age moves up. Aged and mature husbands and wives are not likely to cheat in a relationship as often as it happens with men and women belong the age of 35.
How Many Marriages Survive Affairs?
Though there is no doubt that affairs and cheating in marriages is becoming common, the silver lining is that almost 50% of spouses continue to remain together in spite of being hurt and cheated by their partners.
How Do Affairs Start?
Marriage is all about trust, caring, compromising and truly loving one another. When these four pillars of marriage start crumbling, then there is every chance that one of the partners will start looking for affairs outside the marriage. They also would not mind cheating.
Sexual incompatibility could also be a reason for affairs happening outside marriage. It all happens slowly and silently and coldness in relationships is the main reason for it.
Is It True That Once A Cheater Always A Cheater?
No, it would be wrong to state that a person who cheats once will always be cheater. He or she might have veered away from the righteous path because of certain incidents and happenings.
If they are corrected and taken care of, there are many reasons to believe that things will fall in place and both the partners may compromise and live together again. However, there are many men who are habitual cheaters and a few women also do this.
Why Do We Cheat On Someone We Love?
It may not be easy to give a straight-jacketed reply to this question. According to researchers, many people cheat just for the fun of it or to bring some excitement to their married life, which at times may be drifting in spite of love between the partners. The hormone dopamine in the brain could also cause men and women to even cheat on somebody who they love.
What Is Emotional Cheating?
When we talk about emotional cheating, we are referring to a situation where two grown up individuals tend to cross the boundaries of friendship. They start developing sexual or romantic feelings for someone who is not your spouse.
Hence, when a person communicates and defines the emotional needs in a relationship to somebody other than the spouse it could be considered as emotional cheating.
Is Sexting Cheating If You Are In A Relationship?
When we talk about sexting, we are referring to something that is impersonal and something that lacks physical contact. If a person is sexting with somebody else other than his or her partner, and doing it without the knowledge of the partner, according to legal experts it could amount to infidelity. It could lead to trouble in a smooth relationship but it does not amount to cheating.
Is Flirting Cheating?
Flirting casually and engaging in playful bantering is not generally considered to be cheating. However, if a person is getting his or her emotional needs satisfied through such flirting or bantering then it could be considered as cheating. Otherwise many people do it and they also follow the boundaries that are not to be transgressed.
Why Do Emotional Affairs Happen?
Most emotional affairs happen because some emotional requirement or need is not being met by either of the partners in a marriage. This could lead to the partner getting into emotional affairs and if the problem is identified, it can be corrected and rectified.
How Do You Tell If It’s Flirting Or Not?
Here are some classic signs that somebody is flirting with you.
Prolonged eye contact.
Short brief glances, over and over again.
Playing with clothing.
Awkward compliments and teasing.
Touching while you talk.
How Do You Deal With A Flirty Husband?
Here are some things you can do to deal with a husband who is flirty:
Tell him frankly how you feel about it.
Join in the flirting. It will put off your husband and stop him for being flirty.
Try flirting with each other instead.
Marriage and personal relationships are fragile and can be broken easily. Hence, the partners concerned, should do whatever it takes to make sure that they are able to keep a healthy marriage relationship going. Communicating, being open and transparent and trusting one another could help a lot in a married relationship.